Role-Playing is like sex

Role Playing Games are a lot like sex. They benefit from communication, generosity, patience, enthusiasm, creativity, initiative and experimentation. They are also hampered by silence, selfishness, apathy, and repetition.

First and foremost Role Playing is a conversation. At the most basic level RPGs are a group of people talking to each other. You and the other players go back and forth, talking about

these fictional characters in their fictional circumstances doing whatever it is that they do. Sometimes you do it in character, and sometimes you do it out of character. 1st person or 3rd person it doesn’t matter, everyone's style is different and they are all valid. The important thing is that you are involved in the conversation.

This continues when not actively playing the game. between sessions be sure to tell the other players and the GM what is working for you and what isn’t. Feedback is very important and provides the other players with information to make their game and yours better.

Also talk about things that aren’t related to the game. You are all people with a variety of interests and activities beyond the game. You may learn something you didn’t know anything about. You should all be friends as well and willing to discuss with each other things that aren’t related to the game. How much of this sort of talk is appropriate during the actual game will vary from group to group.

Communication doesn’t need to be face to face, although that tends to be the best form. Modern technology has given us a myriad of ways to stay in touch with each other such as; e-mail, web forums, social media, cell phones, text messaging are some of these. Don’t be afraid to use them.

Every Player in the game, the GM included, should be focused on making sure every other player is having fun. Doing this will guarantee your own fun. If you are only focused on your own fun, there is only one person trying to make your game fun. If everyone is focusing on making the game fun for everyone else you have 4-5 people trying to make sure you are having fun. Always try to do things that give the other characters a chance to shine and be cool. If everyone is doing this you will get your share of opportunities as well.

Also be sure to offer your assistance to the GM and other players. The GM has a lot of things to do and offering to assist or take on those tasks for him could be a huge help. The other players may be struggling with a rule or what to do next. Make sure you are availiable to help if they want it. Just be sure not to be playing for them in this case. Advice is good, Taking their action for them becomes selfishness rather than generosity.

Patience is also a virtue. When someone else is getting time in the spotlight be patient and wait your turn. RPGs are also slower paced than modern computer based MMOs, video games and such. This is not a bug although it can seem like one in our modern fast paced, short attention span world. Slow down and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the richness of the world that you are helping to create. Use the down time to organize your thoughts and plan your next move. If everyone is playing they way they should your turn in the spotlight should be approaching.

“I am enthusiastic and wish to share my fun.” This should be the mantra of role-players and more generally anyone involved in playing games of any type. If you are enthused and excited about the game it will rub off on the other players and everyone will be more excited. An average game that everyone is enthused about is better than a magnificent game nobody cares about.

Role Playing Games are a very creative hobby with outlets for amy different activities like; world building, game design, creative writing, character creation, improvisation, acting, drawing, painting....etc.

Taking the initiative or being proactive is incredibly important to gaming. I don’t mean having a high initiative score so your character can go first. I mean stepping up and deciding what your character will do in a situation. This is why it is important to have beliefs and goals defined for your characters. when put into a situation you can look at those beliefs and goals and say in this situation I do this. The Burning Wheel actually has beliefs and goals as mechanical traits for your character but any game can benefit from the player’s definng these for the ir characters.

Players also need to be proactive in directing where the campaign is going. If nobody will decide what the group is going to do than the game stalls and eventually dies. If you are asked what you are going to do, never choose to do nothing.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. From new types of characters in familiar games to completely new games. This hobby is so big and rich that there are countless things to do, see and try.  I have heard of people who played a cleric for 15 years. In every game they always play the cleric and they get upset if someone else wants to play the cleric. This doesn’t make sense to me.

Also there is nothing wrong with finding a game you love and wanting to stick with it and master it, but don’t be afraid to try new things. Within that game doing something new allows you to learn and master different aspects of the game, but trying other games can open your eyes to new ways of doing things or things you can bring back to your favorite game. It can also provide a break from the current game giving people time to refresh.

   

    Silence, or not communicating is the most direct way to destroy a game. As discussed above role playing is a conversation. If you are not part of that conversation you are just taking up space and using up the energy of the others who are trying to involve you.

    Selfishness is another force that can destroy a game. If you are more concerned with your own fun than everyone else's you will be constantly disappointed. You will also be engaged in activities that take the fun away from others, like trying to inject yourself into their spotlight time or trying to tell everyone else what to do. taking the fun away from others is a sure way to destroy a game.

Apathy or indifference is the opposite force to enthusiasm. If you can’t be bothered to care about the game, the other players will notice and they will stop caring as well. Everyone has off days and life events that can push gaming onto a back burner, but if you honestly don’t care about the game or would rather be doing something else, then you need to ask why are you playing and potentially ruining everyone elses fun.

Repetition or doing the same thing over and over often leads to boredom, and boredom becomes apathy. If you are just doing the same thing over and over because you can’t be bothered to try something new you are setting up the group and the game for failure.

The “casual” player is a conundrum. They seem to not be involved with the conversation but they are typically listening. They don’t contribute much but they enjoy the contributions of others. They don’t seem to mind being told what to do in game. they are generally patient. They seem apathetic yet they can sometimes care deeply about the game or the experience of gaming.  A single casual player is usually not a bad thing. They tend to fade into the background and they are happy to do so. They may be shy, or they may just value the social interaction more than the game. The problem comes with a whole group of casual players. If nobody is willing to step up and take charge then the game will fade away as well.

If you are bringing any of the bad activities to the game session and game group, you should probably do some soul searching and figure out if this hobby is what you are really interested in. If this hobby is something you are interested in then you need to figure out how to change these destructive behaviors.

Ultimately Role Playing is an incredibly rich and diverse pastime that gives you back as much as you put into it. Unfortunately, if you put bad things in you will get bad things out and you will give those bad things to the other players as well.